August 28, 2008

Red Balloons by Jacob E

Red Balloons by Jacob E

sometimes we all have to let go of certain things in our lives. Be it bitterness, anger and hatred; hurts, pains and despair; even dreams, hopes and aspirations.
well, haven’t written for so long, and i don’t even know where i last left off, how i was when i last left off.
To begin with, i found my black graphic calculator in the car. so now i have two graphic calculators. (don’t remind me the trauma i went through)
It’s almost a month since i left choir. and ya, i wouldn’t say anything changed much besides the fact that i think i’m losing my head voice/ chest voice etc. all i seem to be reduced to is my plain throaty voice. HMM. ya, and when i think back, i used to think my voice was a gift, only i guess that, when we don’t use it properly, it can always be taken away aye? oh yes, and i miss everyone terribly, especially the adults.
I was listening to A Tune A Song (concert by the Hwa Chong Voices, 3rd august 08) soundtracks over and over again.
Yo no naci sino para quereros
Mi alma os ha cortado a su medida…
Por vos naci, por vos tengo la vida,
Y por vos ede morir
Y por vos muero.

I was born to love only you;
my soul has formed you to its measure
For you i was born, for you i live
For you i must die, and for you
i give my last breath.
-Amor del mi Alma, Z. Randall Stroope
The Hwa Chong Voices inspire me a lot. You feel it from the way they sing on stage. Whether it’s love for music, love for singing or even love for each other. And it’s how they share it with the audience. And yes, i agree with Hoekit. When Music touches the heart, it makes one cry.
Yes, and so i look forward to caroling with Voices at the end of the year.
Other than that, the last mth in school put me through a lot of discovery about myself, about people. Sometimes discovery can be so painful, humiliating. But that’s where we learn, isn’t it? Well, i figured i can never break a school rule, otherwise, i would be caught. I figured i can be really stubborn and proud even when i’m in the wrong. I figured letting it all go to God was the only way to stop all the bitterness i was feeling. and so i did. So, right now, i’m just healing over. God is good.
99 red Balloons is an interesting song. (The excerpt is not completed though.) I think it made me think quite a bit about war and violence in society even as it speaks of the paranoia that the people faced during the cold war era. I’m certainly not trying to sound intellectual here but recently, i’ve been reading about the justification of war and violence, finding it really hard to understand. I guess it’s simply because many of us, including myself, just take such things as they come.
I think i’m hanging out too much with the Philo kids and tchr.
And i always say to them that such stuff are seriously too big for my brains.
I prefer to think happy thoughts and be contented with just saying that i really love red balloons. The group of us spotted this girl with a whole bunch of them and i went like, ”oohh, that’s so sweet.” <33

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