Finale

wow, almost 3 months without much updating, i suspect im getting tired of blogging. mmm, i haven’t been journaling much too. sometimes i think about things like, “what if i lose my memory one day” and i have nothing to rely on to find out who i am…

anyway, i guess i kind of stopped because i think for a moment, there hasn’t been any “songs of joy” in my heart. and yes, i didn’t want to write just any other complain or emotional blogpost like how i used to. i want to write something that’s glorifying to God. something that’s genuine. i know i can continue to glorify God even when im hurting, and rightfully so, because God deserves every praise in any circumstance. but perhaps if its not genuine, then, i don’t want to pretend.

we seem to write in circles and never straight to the point because really, we are afraid that the world will judge us from the things we write, we are afraid to bare our hearts and the state they are in (esp. wounded ones), i don’t know. I think i’m one of these people. and i realised that sometimes because i keep these things to myself, that i find myself overwhelmed with emotions; maybe that’s why i find even the little little things in this world, emotionally draining.

so i’ve decided. this is probably going to be my last post in this blog. it really saw me through secondary 2 till now i believe. but for now, it’s time to move on, write elsewhere, perhaps more purposefully, more honestly.

to end this post and perhaps the last sharing in this blog, today i realised something very wonderful.

i realised that my dad is quite a sweet man. firstly, i was telling him how much i wanted to eat sushi, and he went to buy sushi for “tea” today. secondly, he heard how grandma was saying that she likes to eat unagi, and he remembered, and bought it for grandma as well.

just as i was thinking about how my dad’s quite a nice man, this crept into my mind. “If you, then, even though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him” (Matthew 7:11)

yes my dad’s a nice man, but God is greater than all man. and surely, God’s love surpasses all things. and i guess for now, i can be joyful about this.

i have been thinking about this song for the past few weeks, it went away… but as i thought abt this, it came to mind again.

He Cares For Me:

My God is far greater, than words can make known

Exalted and Holy, He reigns on His throne.

In infinite splendour, He rules over all

Yet He feeds the poor sparrows, and He knows when they fall.

His power is great, and will ever endure,

His wisdom is peaceable, gentle and pure.

But greater than all these glories i see,

Is the glorious promise that He cares for me.

He rides the wild heavens, He strides to the sea

The high mountains tremble, to hear His decree,

His voice with great thundering, sounds from above

But to His own children, He whispers His love.

 

What a majestic yet tender portrayal of God. And sometimes i wonder why i allow myself to sin, even though God’s truths are so real and precious. Thank you God for your love even though i probably don’t deserve it very much!

So this is it. Au Revoir!

Advertisement