Pour

Pour.

“like oil upon Your feet, like wine for You to drink, like water from my heart, I pour my love on You. If praise is like perfume, I’ll lavish mine on You. Til every drop is gone, I pour my love on You.”

Being busied by thousands of sch assignments and mid terms, projects; with ministries to serve in and pray about constantly; facing personal struggles of friendships and sorts; being misunderstood; etc. In times like these, just pour.

Pour our lives as an offering to Jesus. Til EVERY DROP IS GONE. only when we pour, then can we be filled with His grace and love, joy and peace… and strength to go through each day.

social acceptance

We like to feel accepted and have a sense of belonging in every community we are part of. Ever feel as though you are too “out” of something, to try to be “in” or fit “into” that thing again? Ever thought about how we are always constantly walking in and out of people’s lives? Notice that there are people around us who we treat as family, friends, aquaintances, strangers…

Why the stratification? Why do humans feel a need to be part of an “inner circle” or “loop” (a friend of mine termed it this way)? are we created with this need so that we may understand who we are, and who He is, and how much He loves us? ( since most of creation can be explained by this… hmm, have yet to think this through) or…could it be attributed to the theory of “social construct” and how society makes us this way… always wanting to be part of a clique, be in the loop. and there’s an evolutionary theory behind this i suppose, but i prefer not to consider this direction…so why does the issue of ” social acceptance” affect us so much… i think “humans are social animals” is simply not a good enough explanation, but i find it hard to explain otherwise.

don’t get me wrong for im not pointing to any matter in particular…but i find that this is something i struggle constantly, and am still struggling with it. so if anyone would consider research in this field and issue, please feel free to contact me. then again, i always believe, not everything can be answered from a purely academic standpoint.

“Nutting” much.

Dried Roasted Cashews, Almonds, Peanuts with Black California Raisins

50gm.

i wonder if people get sore throats from eating too much of these. tempted to buy a few more packs.

I’ve made You too small in my eyes, Oh Lord, forgive me

and I have believed in a lie, that You were unable to help me.

But now Oh Lord, i see my wrong

Heal my heart, and show Yourself strong

and in my life, and with my song,

Oh Lord, be magnified, Oh Lord, be magnified.

Be magnified Oh Lord, You are highly exalted

and there is nothing You can’t do, Oh Lord, my eyes are on You

Oh Lord, be magnified, Oh Lord, be magnified.

 

This song speaks so real of what i read about today, of how sometimes we have all underestimated God in our own ways. and i think for awhile now, i’ve not sought God with an expectancy… with an expectancy that He can come and work and change lives, and change me, and change things in church, change things in school. so yes, Jesus, i ask for Your forgiveness, come heal my heart today and show Yourself strong. Oh Lord, be magnified!

I praise God in whatever circumstance that i may be in. I can give thanks simply because i can come in unveiled openness to Christ. I give thanks because in whatever state of heart or mind im in, God can come and meet me. May the power of the cross and the beauty of the Lord remind me to fixate my eyes upon Him.

To keep Your lovely face

Ever before my eyes

This is my prayer,

Make it my one desire.

That in my secret heart,

No other love competes

No rival throne survives

And i serve only You.

I remember feeling emotional and perhaps discontented sometime this week, (and with that said, i know that i haven’t fully reconciled with a few of the things that are upon my heart. a part of me feels that it doesn’t really matter anymore, yet another tells me that if i don’t resolve it fully, it will somehow schemingly weave its way back into my mind)

maybe it’s first-week-of-school blues and the busyness; the feeling of lethargy that seems to be hinting a foreboding illness that made things worse for me.

but i give thanks for comfort and just simple words from people. that as lacking of nourishment as i may be, ( i’ve only myself to blame for the lack of discipline) God still speaks through others, that from the words of others, i can be blessed, i can find the source of strength to go through 3 classes in one day and another tomorrow before the week ends. and this is what she reminded me, that God said:

     “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
       neither are your ways my ways,”
       declares the LORD.

      “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
       so are my ways higher than your ways
       and my thoughts than your thoughts.

it led me to read Isaiah 55 about a God who is faithful and who satisfies. truly, God knows best. i pray that i will find conviction in this and stand firm in this knowledge and faith.

Broken i run to You, for Your arms are opened wide

I am weary but i know Your touch, restores my life

so let me wait for Him, let me fall on my knees, let me offer all of myself, my life. let me surrender. let me live for only One.

it’s three days into 2010, but really life feels very much the same. as much as i had wished to leave struggles and burdens in 2009 to 2009, somehow i know that the emotional baggage, i’ve carried them into 2010.

yet amidst all these, my heart cries this, psalm 37:4 delight yourself in the Lord and He will grant the desires of your heart. and how do i delight myself in the Lord… i think there’s nothing God desires more, than for me to trust Him and to pursue Him. and my prayer is that i will do just that. to trust, to surrender myself to God. and may my heart’s desires be good godly desires, not selfish ones, but godly ones.

tis’ the season

hmm, feels like a long time since i blogged abt something. and yes, so much, too much had happened. but thank God for all that has passed. the things ive seen, experienced have truly been amazing. and now that christmas is coming. Merry christmas! feeling a little unmotivated this season. like a little too much to do, to be done, feel like an elf running from end of workshop to the other end of the same workshop. wanted desperately to sit at starbucks this afternoon to write my cards. but seems like it’s not going to happen. ohwell, but who’s to complain. need to love more, then i’ll be more motivated, need to rely more on GOD. so, yup, i’ll probably blog less for now, resorted to pen and paper journaling.

Seek

I bow my knee, before Your throne,

I know my life is not my own.

I offer up a song of praise,

To bring You, pleasure Lord.

I seek the Giver, not the gift,

My only desire, is to lift,

You, high above, all earthly kings,

To bring You pleasure, Lord.

Hallelujah

Glory to the King.

amen indeed…to seek God, for who He is, to desire Him… not just what He can do, but Him. and to remember that that’s what im created for, a relationship with the Heavenly Father- i was made to praise Him, and He, to bless me and show me how great His love is…what can i say, but i want to seek God, i want to just pray and not stop. I guess this is what love feels like…and i thank God that this is His will for each and every one of us.

It’s a Mad World!

Inspired by my corner of the sky, i decide to do a post on this as well! Gosh! I honestly can’t wait for this sunday afternoon’s Mad Hatter’s tea party! (even though i have a psychology paper the next day, and even right now as i blog, im so not done studying for psych boo!)

anyway, while studying a chapter on psychological disorders, guess what? i chanced upon this paragraph, and here is what it said:

The Mad Hatter, from Lewis Caroll’s Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland. History provides numerous examples of psychosis caused by toxic chemicals. Caroll’s Mad Hatter character is modeled after an occupational disease of the eighteenth and ninteenth centuries. In that era, hat makers were heavily exposed to mercury used in the preparation of felt. Consequently, many suffered brain damage and became psychotic, or “mad” (Kety, 1979)

So, what do ya say? Mad Hatter’s mad because of that? gosh, so sad! anyway, im going to the party as the cheshire cat! (a black and white one though, since im infamous for being, you know, colour blind oh well, hope i do get to take plenty of photos, even though i think i can’t stay at the party too long…



The Cheshire Cat

too cute isn’t it? heee can’t wait. okay, back to studying!